You know, the one that happened months (& many pounds) ago? Yeah…so…
First of all, before we get to that, let’s get to this–Last week was intense for me, emotionally speaking. I feel like I should honor the reasons why because they have very little to do with whiny pregnant personal problems and much more about the heaviness of other people’s trials circumstances, but I don’t really know how to do that over a blog. Hmmmm….I could start with the fact that my Grandmother passed away. But that makes me sound like I’m asking for false sympathy. Cause really, as close as she was with all of us when we were little, the past decade has been very different. It has almost felt like she has been gone for awhile…how horrible and selfish does that sound? Ugh. I hated even writing that. But, she gave us such a gift. Besides giving, maintaing and protecting a beautiful family, she wrote. She wrote before she couldn’t write anymore. And when I was shown these letters through emails over the past week, I lost it. That was her. That’s who I had let go of over time without even realizing it…and suddenly she was so real again. And being 35.5 weeks pregnant, I struggled deeply with what my place was in traveling to Houston. I know in my heart that she deserved nothing less than to have her family around her, her family that she so deeply loved. But I also knew my somewhat physical limitations, the normal recommendations from the dr, and my own stress level on being so far away from home so close to what could be this baby boy’s birth…let’s just say it was a heavy burden constantly on my mind. But y’all, wouldn’t you know that she wrote down in her own words her wishes and forgiveness as it concerned out of town family members…when I read those words in black and white, hearing her ask us to be in prayer if we couldn’t make it physically, I completely lost it. Just completely. She was allowing me to rest in starting my own family and let go of the wonderful past she gave all of us. Bless her. And bless my family for every beautiful thing they did to honor her.
Then, there is the fire in Colorado Springs. Our hearts have been so heavy for our old home and all of our precious friends. The fire has burned within 1 mile of the first home Johnny and I shared together. Not to mention, this is literally the most beautiful place ever…to watch how the fire has spread throughout the city is just heartbreaking. Then some news came that is not mine to share, but I carry the burden along with them. Cause that’s what we’re called to do, to carry each other’s burdens…and this burden is great. But it’s always an honor to walk alongside people in trial. A beautiful honor.
Then to end the week, it is becoming more and more apparent as this pregnancy is reaching the end and his birth comes closer and closer, the gap there seems to be between what we believe is right for our child, our family and our birth, and how dr’s and hospitals are set up. We love our Dr, don’t get me wrong, but as she becomes more involved (more intrusive, might be a better word) in this normal, healthy pregnancy, I see my choices flying away from me. I know that they are really all still there, but maybe medical staff don’t really realize the weight they carry in their ‘suggestions’ based off what they normally do for other people who ‘normally’ don’t have any problems? Of course I’m emotional to begin with…so to add what I believe was a bit of a condescending appointment to the mix of last week was a bit much. We will try again this week ;) We’re just learning how to properly walk the line between advocating for your child and listening to the right medical advice. It’s gonna probably take a few emotional appointments to figure this thing out.
Now for that quick vacay we took to Ft. Walton beach back in April. We always do quick trips, it just seems that’s what fits in our schedule (and, a’hem, budget). Seriously though, we pray for the Lord to make our time on vacation supernaturally long, and He does it. That probably sounds crazy, but try it. It works. Another crazy thing we do is we stay at bed and breakfasts…like what other twenty something couple does that? Let me tell you, when we sit around that breakfast table in the morning, there is not one person or couple who looks like us. And we sure aren’t talking about 80’s and 90’s childhood memories. Nope, we’re talking about how to truly solve the immigration issue and how we chose what nursing home our parents will spend the rest of their lives. Of course this is not conversation John Paul and I partake in, we’re usually too consumed with crepes and grits. And we like it that way :)
But here we go–the trip in pics–(aunt martha’s b&b in downtown Ft Walton)
Okay, so maybe a hotel can offer that. I guess what we like most of all is the random interaction with real people. That and the snacks (strategic placement of candy, wine and cheese, cookies and milk…yummmm), the always amazing VHS collections to giggle at, and the other little amenities that go along with sharing a vacation with other people. Okay, maybe that last one didn’t sound so appealing…
And of course we took more pics before heading to the beach for the day…duh.
This was when my feet started to disappear…little did I know how little I knew then…
I asked him to do something funny with his hair and make a face…this is all I got. But I like it.
and one last bump sesh before dinner in the pretty light
The next day, we had breakfast, some starbucks, amazing time sitting on the shore with some really timely and needed revelation from the Lord, had a few awkward conversations with other b&b’ers, and left for Birmingham to spend some time with this girl and her baby in her belly. Sam and Tripp are bff.
So now we’re caught up from April, yay!! Next up I guess are the baby shower pics? Sure, why not. Otherwise all is good here! In my 36th week, baby Sam has been head down for a while and continues to stay that way. At 32 weeks he was measuring 4lbs 15oz, but who knows how that translates to what he could be today. And by the way, has anyone ever said to a pregnant woman “well you just look like you’re a perfect size with a perfect sized baby in there”? Cause I sure have never heard it, ha! Thank goodness it doesn’t bother me. But I did get my first “your baby is going to be so small” comment yesterday…and I’ll tell ya, that one threw me. People are funny.
And just so you know, I fixed the color on the nursery pics I posted last time so now his room no longer looks like he has a magenta-ish lamp and green-ish floors. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, good :) See y’all next time